Andrew Pain

Now that the term burnout is in our daily language, some people use the word lightly, to describe feeling tired, whereas other people cite burnout and are ill … really ill. They’re off work and not coming back any time soon. If we’re serious about preventing burnout, 3 questions need to be answered.

• What is burnout?
• What causes it?
• How do you prevent it?

In this workshop, we’ll answer these 3 burnout questions, busting the myths, identifying the signs, triggers and symptoms and equipping people to create deliver on their aspirations and responsibilities, but without sacrificing their health or relationships.

Participants will explore:

• Psychological Safety: what it is, why it’s important (according to the evidence), the impact of a lack of psychological safety on organisational performance, and the 5 steps you need to take, in order to create it.
• How to have potentially awkward ‘checking-in conversations,’ where you want to reach out to a person you’re worried, but you’re unsure of how to start the conversation.
• Hope: it’s very fragile, and yet it drives human motivation.  Drawing on the Stockdale Paradox, we’ll reflect on how to communicate hope to those around us, but without setting people up to fail or creating unrealistic expectations.
• How to deal with adversity, using T.E.S.T., the language of elite sports professionals and Setback Square.
• The subtle difference between resilience and GRIT and how to develop GRIT as your natural trait.
• Why the Kubler Ross change curve is both flawed and outdated, and how to think about change in a way which is fit for the 2020s, not the 1970s.
• How to build your burnout survival kit, drawing on the power of happy anchors, marginal gains and wellbeing boosters.

Without active communities, issues such as absenteeism, presenteeism, burnout, low morale, working in silos, communication issues, misunderstanding and a high turnover of staff are likely to characterise our organisations. Social connection is in our human DNA, it’s at the heart of human wellbeing and innovation and thus for organisations who want to thrive, two crucial questions need to be answered.

• How do you create communities where people belong and can reach out for support?
• How do you break down cliques and reduce levels of loneliness within your organisations?

In this talk, we will explore:

• Why community safeguards human wellbeing, fosters peak performance and supports ongoing innovation (drawing on global research)
• Why community spirit is under pressure today and what that means for our organisations.
• Cliques? What are they? How do they form? Why are they so difficult to spot?
• How do you start meaningful conversations with someone you might be worried about and/or those who don’t easily interact with others?
• Why loneliness is a vicious cycle and how to reconnect if you’ve become isolated.
• How to improve your own community building skills, from the small every-day habits, to the longer-term shifts in your thinking?
• Lessons from the best: drawing on the wisdom of some of the best community builders to have been on Andrew’s Men on Show podcast. What can we learn from them in thinking about the communities we build in our workplaces?

Beyond the tragedy of the nation’s suicide data, it’s becoming increasingly known that 95% of people in prison in the UK are men, 85% of rough sleepers in the UK are men, 60% of victims of violence are men and boys (but there is no UK government strategy to tackle violence against men and boys). We’ve heard so much about the rise of the manosphere and struggling men, but what’s really happening?

1. Are men struggling?
2. Why are men struggling?
3. What are we going to do about it?

This keynote talk, addresses these three questions, whilst also unpacking the following sub-topics.

The Testosterone Crisis: The levels of testosterone across the globe and all male age groups, is in serious decline, and its bad news for men’s physical and mental health. But why is declining testosterone a problem? What’s causing it and how do we reverse the decline?

Men’s Communities: There’s been an explosion of men’s communities across the world in the last 15 years, but is this a return to the old boys’ network or something more positive? Why are men joining these communities? What good to they serve and what can we learn from them in reaching out to the men in our own workplaces/communities?

Toxic Masculinity: These words carry so much meaning, yet they are often loosely banded around to describe all manner of anti-social male behaviour or simply men who won’t go to the doctor! But is there a better way of framing our language so we draw men into meaningful conversation? What does the data say about the impact of ‘toxic masculinity’ as a phrase on male psychology? And what can we learn from groups successfully engaging men but using a completely different narrative?

Fatherhood: From new fathers to childless men (but not by choice) to fathers no longer living with their children, and low-income dads, there are different groups of fathers, each with their own unique set of challenges and being aware of them, is key to supporting dads as meaningful role models for the next generation of men. And in terms of our own fatherhood input, how can we be more present as fathers, when we’re working long hours and feel overwhelmed by it all.

Allyship: What is allyship? What difference does allyship make when addressing sensitive topics? What gets in the way of delivering allyship at work and how do we become better allies for each other?

Redefining masculinity: if the old man code of tradition stereotypes is no longer fit for purpose and damages us as men, then what next? How do we create a perception of masculinity which is truly inspiring, and which is aspirational for 21st century blokes?

Domestic abuse, which includes physical and sexual violence, emotional abuse, coercive and controlling behaviour and economic abuse), will affect 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6-7 men, during their lifetime. There are over 2 million reported cases of domestic abuse each year in the UK alone, with men, women and people from all age groups, ethnicities and cultures both as perpetrators and victims, the annual social and economic costs of domestic abuse have been estimated to reach as much as £66 billion a year in the UK.

As a lived-experience survivor of domestic abuse, TEDx speaker and CPD accredited trainer, I will draw on some of my story, as well as wider research, to develop your understanding of how domestic abuse unfolds, the challenges in reaching out for help and how to best support your colleagues.

We will explore:

• How people from all walks of life fall into abusive relationships.
• What life is like, day-to-day, for people caught in abusive relationships.
• Why people get stuck and can’t seem to walk away.
• The reality of gaslighting: what it is and how it manifests itself in abusive relationships.
• Why victims are reluctant to talk about the abuse when they’re in it or admit it’s happening when others might suspect there’s an issue and reach out to them.
• Why life after abuse doesn’t mean an end to the abuse: from personal safety to parental alienation and the family courts, why the rebuilding process is time consuming and complex.
• What are the red flags of abusive relationships? What should you look out for when forming new relationships, so you could take action early if necessary?
• How can we effectively reach out to those we’re worried about?